"Will You Still Love Me If I Don't Win?", is one of the most powerful and important books you will ever read and experience. It will take courage to read this book and apply what you will learn to your relationships with the people you love and cherish the most. Many self-help, psychology, or relationship books are written at a level that is far too shallow to make a difference. This book will affect you at a fundamental level that will make a difference in your life and the lives of your children. Every coach and every parent should read this book. I wish I could have read it thirty years ago.

      I said it would take courage to read and experience this book. I speak from personal experience. I have been coaching for over thirty years and have known Chris Andersonn for twenty of those years. Chris has been working with my teams for most of the years I have known him. Every year, Chris would call me and ask if we were going to do the team seminar this year. Until two years ago, I would try to come up with some excuse as to why we might not be able to do it this year-timing,expense, etc. But the real reason was that I was nervous-no, scared-to commit to another seminar. Why? I knew from previous seminars that Chris always helped our teams feel better about themselves as individuals, as athletes, and as teammates. In fact, it was always one of the most valuable experiences of the year, but I was still scared. The reason was that all of us, coaches and athletes, were encouraged through Chris' skillful and gentle guidance to become vulnerable with each other-more importantly, with ourselves-and that scared me. Yet, during these sessions the athletes and coaches developed an intimate understanding of what was truly important in the athletic experience and so little of it had to do with winning and losing. It had much more to do with our feelings and fears.

      There are many who would say that my coaching career is almost perfect. I have coached Olympic Gold Medal winners, World Record holders, 12 NCAA Team Championships, as well as many national champions and All-Americans. I have also been a United States Olympic coach for the past four Games-two as Head coach-and I will serve once again as Head coach for the 2000 Olympic Games in Sydney. It has been a dream come true to represent my country in international competition. It's been a dream career. However, I have always felt there was much, much more to coaching and athletics than records and wins and loses. Most of the athletes I have coached are not Olympians or All-Americans, but all can have a winning and growing experience even if they never touch the wall first in a race. In fact, I have seen many great Athletes-even Olympic Gold Medal winners-that had losing experiences in athletics.

      Reading "Will You Still Love Me If I Don't Win?", and participating in the many seminars I have done with Chris have helped me to be able to provide a safe place for our athletes to express their feelings and fears without the additional fear that they will be judged as weak or underachievers if they should fall short of their hopes and goals. Hopefully, my athletes realize they are loved and valued for who they are and not for what they do. I as a coach must always be asking myself if I am providing this safe place for them. As a parent, I must always be asking myself if I am doing the same for my own children. This has become an everyday growing exercise for me. I never want my athletes or my children feel they must 'win' my love.

     Ask yourself if your children must "win" your love. You as a parent are a very powerful force in the lives of your children and I encourage you to never underestimate your impact on their lives. Chris Andersonn's book can be a very valuable tool that will challenge you to look at your relationship with your children and the role you play in what they feel and fear in their day-to-day lives and as athletes. Athletics is just the vehicle that Chris uses to illustrate a much deeper understanding of ourselves and our relationships.

     The many stories that are told in the book are real life, and I found that each one caused me to evaluate myself and my feelings toward various situations and relationships I have had and currently have. I found that the differences between my personal experiences and those presented in the book have been in degrees, not kind. Reading them has been a growing experience not only as a coach but also as a parent.

     This book will challenge you to evaluate what is important to you in your relationships and help you to enhance them. Chris does an outstanding job of presenting many of the problems we all face as parents and giving us tools and methods to address these problems. The challenge for all of us is to realize there is no formula that fits all situations or all relationships, primarily because feelings and emotions play such an important role. "Will You Still Love Me If I Don't Win?", offers valuable insight, techniques, and suggestions as to how you can recreate yourself into a more understanding, caring, and loving parent.

     A fear I have is that you might say, "I don't need this, my child knows I love him (or her)." I would say to you, "You are probably the one who needs the information in this book the most." I wish the best of everything to those of you that accept the challenge of experiencing this powerful book. I am confident you will never regret using this book as I have never regretted having Chris do the seminars with my teams. I know the athletes have benefited a great deal, but I am sure I have benefited the most.