The following text is taken from the Introduction of Will You Still Love Me If I Don't Win?
"A coach once told me that he pictured the foundation of competitive sports like a three-legged stool. The first leg was technique, the physical skills of the sport. The second leg was psychology, which he defined as goal setting, positive thinking, mental preparation, and so forth. And the third leg was the actual training, or practice, of the sport. But after some years of coaching, he recognized that something was missing. There was a fourth leg on the stool, and ultimately the most important. It was the emotional side of sports.
In my experience, this emotional side of sports "the way athletes feel about themselves and the effect those feelings have on their performance" is the most significant issue affecting young athletes today. There is no doubt that unresolved anger, pressure-producing fear, disappointment, hurt, and other suppressed feelings can handicap an athlete's abilities. At the very least, emotional pressure can turn competitive athletics into an emotional struggle, taking all the fun out of the sports experience. These problems are not about thinking, they are about feeling: emotions.
Yet, although there has been a lot of talk about the need to deal with the mind "the mental side of sports" rarely has there been much focus on the importance of dealing with the emotional side of sports. Will You Still Love Me If I Don't Win? not only discusses the effects that emotional stress has on young athletes, it also explores the causes of that stress, including the integral role that you, the parent, play. But most importantly, you will find insight and practical techniques to help you and your children deal effectively with emotions and the situations that cause them. This book offers you valuable tools to create a more positive sports experience and a greater sense of well-being for your family."
Will You Still Love Me If I Don't Win? demonstrates through true stories about young athletes and their parents that the vast majority of parents have much more of an emotional impact upon their children than they are aware of "particularly when their children are involved in competitive sports. And that impact always affects their children's sense of worth, self-esteem and value. This book helps you learn when and how your impact can be negative and damaging— and how to change.
In addition, there is a section in the book that answers questions parents most frequently ask, such as: "How should I act and what can I say to my children when they fail in a competition and feel devastated?," and "My son/daughter does not seem to be fully committed or motivated in their sport. I know he/she is holding back. Why is this and how can I help him/her?
Above all, this book is about loving, about young people and their needs (whether they are athletes or not), and about you and your needs. And it is about the ever growing and expanding relationship between you and your children.
I invite you to read Will You Still Love Me If I Don't Win?. I wrote it for you...
Christopher Andersonn
